Couples counselling facilitates a safe space for mutual support and dealing with challenges

Relationships are hard work. It takes time, effort and tools to build and maintain a healthy and loving partnership, but despite our best intentions, sometimes the meaningful connection we have with our spouse can start to erode. While fights and disagreements are normal, if they start to get out of hand and occur too often, they can cause rifts and chasms in what was once a happy relationship. Communication can begin to break down, feelings get hurt, and tensions flare.

Some of the most common reasons couples come to counselling:

●      Communication difficulties

●      Money problems

●      Infidelity

●      Sexual incompatibility or dysfunction

●      Pre-marriage counselling

●      Loss of a loved one

●      Infertility

Couples counselling can provide a safe space for people to work out their issues and re-establish communication. A counsellor acts as an impartial third party – they ask targeted questions and allow each party to express their frustrations, wants, and needs. They can help you rekindle the ability to support one another and overcome challenges together.

A counsellor could help you work on the following:

Effective communication – Every good relationship has one thing in common – strong communication! If both parties feel that they can openly express their beliefs, desires, emotions, and grievances, they can be vulnerable with one another and improve their bond. A counsellor facilitates communication, providing a safe space for both parties to speak and listen.

Mindfulness - Just the act of thinking about the relationship can help both parties gain a much-needed ‘big picture’ view. This sense of mindfulness is invaluable when it comes to moving forward, as it can help you to pause, slow down and rethink what you’re about to say and do. A 2016 study published in the Journal of Human Sciences and Extension showed a positive correlation between mindfulness and happier relationships.  A counsellor can train you both in how to takes those mindful breaks so that they are calming and effective.

Mutual respect – Fighting with your partner is normal. It can actually be part of a healthy relationship when both parties are respectful and demonstrate compassion. But when the barbs start flying, and low blows are exchanged, the harsh words and gritted teeth can be a sign of a lack of mutual respect. Nothing will sour a relationship quicker than a loss of respect for one another – a counsellor can help lay new foundations on which to build respect so that both parties get their needs met. 

Trust – An essential component of any relationship is a sense of trust. Without trust, both parties will feel unsupported, and the partnership will feel unstable. We need to be able to trust our partner to ‘have our back’ and be with us through life’s trials and tribulations – if we think that they aren’t there for us, the entire relationship will break down. A counsellor will suggest strategies and exercises for rebuilding trust.

Having fun together - Most importantly, a counsellor can help you to rediscover why you fell in love in the first place! They can help you with working on your friendship and remember what it’s like to have fun together – going on dates, working on intimacy, and having a laugh.

A qualified and experienced couples counsellor can be an invaluable support for you in the process of mending wounds. Attending therapy sessions with your partner can help you both learn new skills, re-establish your life mission and goals, and get your relationship to thrive again.