Navigating Relationship Dynamics: Strategies for Growth and Repair (Part 2)

In part 1, we explored the conflict part of relationship dynamics in which we examined the drama triangle and ego states and how they can be useful in understanding dysfunctional relational dynamics.

In this article, we will explore how to have functional relationship dynamics and solve for the drama triangle. 

The Empowerment Dynamic (TED)

An alternative to the Drama Triangle is The Empowerment Dynamic (TED), a concept developed by David Emerald. It focuses on creating positive and empowering relationships by adopting three key roles: the Creator, the Challenger, and the Coach. These roles encourage personal responsibility, accountability, and growth.

1. The Creator:

The Creator takes ownership of their life and circumstances. They recognise that they have the power to choose their responses and actions. Instead of playing the Victim, they become proactive and focus on finding solutions and achieving their goals.

Utilise the Creator role by:

• Setting clear goals and defining what you want to achieve.

• Taking responsibility for your choices, actions, and outcomes.

• Cultivating a positive mindset and focusing on possibilities and opportunities.

• Seeking personal growth and embracing challenges as opportunities for learning.

2. The Challenger: 

The Challenger acts as a supportive catalyst for growth and change. Instead of being a Persecutor, they provide constructive feedback, challenge limiting beliefs, and encourage personal development.

Utilise the Challenger role by:

• Providing honest and constructive feedback to others, while maintaining respect and empathy.

• Encouraging others to question their assumptions and beliefs.

• Challenging yourself to step out of your comfort zone and embrace new experiences.

• Supporting others in their personal growth by offering guidance and encouragement.

3. The Coach: 

The Coach offers support, guidance, and encouragement to others. Unlike the Rescuer, they empower individuals to find their own solutions and make their own decisions.

Utilise the Coach role by:

• Active listening and asking open-ended questions to help others gain clarity and insights.

• Providing support and encouragement while allowing individuals to take ownership of 

their actions.

• Helping others identify their strengths and resources to overcome challenges.

• Encouraging self-reflection and personal development in others.

Applying the Empowerment Dynamic

By adopting the Empowerment Dynamic, you shift from a victim mindset to a mindset of personal agency and growth. You take responsibility for your life, support others in their growth, and foster a collaborative and empowering environment. Practicing the roles of Creator, Challenger, and Coach can lead to more fulfilling relationships and personal development.

Remember that it takes time and practice to embody these roles consistently. Be patient with yourself and others as you navigate this shift. Consider seeking support from a coach, mentor, or counsellor who can provide guidance and help you further develop these empowering skills.

Reflection

Once again, reflect on these questions as a way to move toward repair of how you interact with people in your life. Be gentle with yourself but be honest. 

• Which of the TED roles are you most attracted to: Creator, Coach, or Challenger?

• Which of the TED roles do you find most challenging?

• What might you do to shift from the Victim to the Creator role?

• What might you do to shift from the Persecutor to Challenger role?

• What might you do to shift from the Rescuer to the Coach role?

• Who are some people from your life – or from history – that are inspiring examples of Creators?

• What is it about them that moves you and that you would like to emulate?