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Home / Advice / Relationship Issues / How to spark your sexual intimacy

How to spark your sexual intimacy

By: Maria Postolache

Updated: 28 May 2021

How to spark your sexual intimacy

Covid-19 – How to spark your sexual intimacy

In March 2020, the World Health Organisation declared a worldwide pandemic which brought a number of drastic changes to our daily lives. One year on, we are still faced with the same challenges. The Covid-19 pandemic changed the life of so many people daily and created many societal challenges. Loss of jobs, working from home, illness, little social interaction, taking care of the kids and all these stresses can produce a rupture in our mental health specifically with regard to our sexuality. 

So many studies have shown that many external factors like difficult and stressful jobs, economic hardships, and natural disasters would affect a romantic relationship before Covid 19 ever became a reality (Pietromonaco and Overall, 2020). There has been a lot of research which shows the connection between various stressors and sexuality especially within couples. 

With many couples now working from home, and spending far more time together than usual, it can create some tensions between them. Moreover, some might have just moved in together and are still learning how to live together in what some would say challenging times. Couples are more under pressure with being together at home than they are used to, and that can create tension, with some couples forgetting the other person’s feelings.

This article will give you some tips on how to increase your sexual intimacy and get more connected with yourself and your partner.

Playing games 

Games can be a big help in creating more intimacy with your partner. Intimacy is a big component in a relationship and playing various games with your partner can bring fun, excitement, and desire [Lusinski, 2018]. Below there are some examples of games you might want to try:

  • Twenty Questions Game: this game can be very effective in building intimacy. 
  • Staring Contest: William Shakespeare once said, “The Eyes are the window to your soul”. 
  • Truth or dare game 

Quality Time 

Having quality time means having focused, uninterrupted, and undivided attention for your partner. It can show togetherness — enjoying spending time being with each other and shared activities — doing things together to create a unique experience and mutual memory (AIPC, 2012).

Physical affection 

Physical affection includes hugs, kisses, holding hands, back rubbing, sitting close to each other, hair stroking and sexual intercourse. It can also include empathetic embraces and tender touches when your partner is in distress or tears.

Emotional intimacy and closeness

Emotional intimacy involves having honest, straightforward, and open communication. Share your most important thoughts and feelings with your partner to gain comfort and strength from these conversations (DeFrein and Brand, 2012). 

Do not forget that emotional intimacy takes place over time. The more you and your partner share and express your emotions and feelings in a non-judgmental and accepting way, the more trust and emotional intimacy will increase.

Receiving and giving gifts

Gifts are a token or a symbol of affection that can be tangible. For example something that you can purchase or gifts of self, for example your physical presence in time of need. Either way your partner will feel surprised and cared for.

Tantric sex 

Tantric sex comes from ancient Hinduism that has at its base the creation of a deep, emotional intimacy with the aim to be in the moment and present to achieve a sensual sexual experience. Basically, what tantric sex does is encourage people to be more comfortable in their own bodies and understand them and by doing so, one can include their partner (Morales, 2020). 

Prevent Routine

Routine sometimes can become a reason why intimacy is not present in our relationship. Repeating the same things every day can cause us to forget about the person that sleeps beside us every night, and to take them for granted. Try to often include something spontaneous and new in your relationship, this will avoid you getting into a routine. 

It is necessary to change the routine we have created and find a balance in our relationship that sometimes will keep us entertained, especially during these new and unknown times.

To conclude, we acknowledge that Covid 19 can present many challenges to us and our intimate relationships. However, remember that these are only some tips that can help you create more intimacy with your partner, to reconnect and rediscover each other. We might be surprised that we get to see strengths in our partners that we have never seen before and slow down and enjoy each other again.

If you are looking for more support with relationship issues or sexuality, feel free to get in touch with the helpful office staff at MyMind, who will be happy to help you find a suitable therapist:


Australian Institute of Professional Counsellors. (2009). Losing Intimacy in my relationship. Australia

DeFrein, J., & Brand, G. (2012). Sexual Intimacy and Emotional Intimacy. Getting Connected, Staying Connected.

Kassel, G. (2019). Why You Should 100% Try Tantric Sex Tonight. Publisher Shape, viewed 18.03.2021, <>.

LovePanky - Your Guide to Better Love and Relationships. (2021). 10 Relationship Games for Couples to Feel More Connected, viewed 17.03.2021, <>.

Lusinski, N. (2018). 13 Sexy Games To Help You & Your Partner Explore Your Desires. Publisher Bustle, viewed 16 March 2021, <>.

Morales, L. (2020). What is tantric sex? Definition and how to practice. Publisher, viewed 17 March 2021, <>.

Pietromonaco, P., & Overall, N. (2020). Applying relationship science to evaluate how the COVID-19 pandemic may impact couples’ relationships. American Psychologist.


Linda Smith Psychotherapist Location: Dublin 8

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Specialities: Other , Trauma , Suicidal Ideation / Self Harm , Stress , Self-Esteem , Self Care , Relationship issues , Personal Development , Isolation / Loneliness , Addiction , Anger , Anxiety , Bereavement / Loss , Depression , Work Issues, Work/Life balance , Domestic Violence / Abuse

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