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Gottman Method: Couples Therapy

By: Anna Nauka

Updated: 18 December 2019

Gottman Method: Couples Therapy

WHAT IS GOTTMAN THERAPY

About the approach

The Gottman Method is a structured form of couples therapy. It is an approach which is  based on 40 years of research with thousands of couples. The foundations of this  method consists of a thorough assessment of the couple's relationship and therapeutic process. It integrates research-based interventions developed in line with the Sound Relationship House Theory.

Who can benefit

The Gottman method can help any relationship to improve. 

While every relationship is unique and each couple is different, in his research Dr. Gottman discovered that many couples display the same patterns of behaviour. Today The Gottman Institute is able to predict relationship success with a 91-per cent accuracy rate.

The Gottman method is beneficial to couples where repeated conflict is chronic and they cannot find a way to deal with it. Sometimes it can be used in situations of infidelity, abuse, or destructive behaviour. However, as it doesn’t exclusively focus on ending the conflict but also on developing common goals, enhancing friendship, closeness and fondness within the relationship even satisfied couples can benefit from it.

MyMind & Gottman Method

Our team of experienced professionals completed an intensive training course in the Gottman Method Couples Therapy with the Drs. John and Julie Gottman to provide relationship-building techniques. All therapists listed below are members of the Gottman Institute Referral Network and have completed at least Level 2 Training in Gottman Method Couples Therapy.

MyMind’s mission is to provide an accessible and affordable therapy service to our clients, that is why we offer our couples therapy sessions at the cost of €60 for 50 minutes session and an extended 100 minutes couples session at the cost of €120.

MyMind also offers a free of charge Gottman Method Questionnaire Assessment followed by detailed feedback from one of our experienced clinicians. 

HOW IT WORKS

What to expect

Couples who enter Gottman Method Couples Therapy begin with an assessment process that helps to determine the therapeutic framework and the interventions that will be used during treatment.

Assessment – During the assessment, the therapist speaks with both partners together before speaking with them individually. Couples share their relationship philosophy, history, and therapeutic goals. They also complete questionnaires and receive feedback on their relationship.

Therapeutic Framework – The couple and the therapist decide on the structure and parameters of therapy that are most likely to promote healing. Considerations may include how often the couple meets for therapy, the length of each session, and the overall duration of treatment.

Therapeutic interventions – Couples learn specific techniques and strategies to work on the areas such as repairing the relationship after arguments, not letting conflict escalate and how to respond positively and with love to their partner. These interventions are designed to help couples learn how to replace negative patterns of behaviour with positive ones, become closer and prevent relapse.

Some of these techniques include:

  • Getting to know each other's hopes, fears, and desires 

  • Using “I” statements instead of “You” statements

  • Avoiding harsh start-ups to a conversation

  • Expressing your opinion without judging or blaming your partner

  • Learning how to de-escalate

  • Learning how to soothe yourself and your partner psychologically

  • Self- regulation exercises

Duration and Payment

Firstly the therapist meets with the couple to assess the relationship. This first includes a co-joint session and then, the therapist meets with each of the partners individually. In the meantime, the couple is asked to complete a questionnaire assessment. The assessment process is concluded with the 4th feedback session during which the couple together with therapist will decide the goals of treatment.

Four 50 min assessment sessions (cost 60 euros per session):  

  • 1 Intake Interview with both partners

  • Session with first partner (Separate individual sessions with both partners)

  • Session with second partner 

  • Feedback session. 

(MyMind offers a free of charge questionnaire assessment)

After the feedback session the couple and their therapist agree on framework and duration of the therapy as well as the frequency of the meetings. Therapy sessions are always conducted with both partners present, and the therapist does not take sides or privilege secrets. 

During this process the couple will learn practical skills. They will be encouraged to work on their closeness. They will be asked to practice exercises both in the session and at home. 

Therapeutic sessions last 100 minutes and the cost is 120 euros per session.


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