Here’s a typical rom-com storyline: Guy meets girl. Guy falls for girl. Friends tell guy to “just be yourself!”. Guy replies with a sarcastic “that’s the problem”. They later fall in love. Classic.
Real life, however, isn’t so black and white. Sometimes it just doesn’t work out. Sometimes, in real life, the story line finishes before it can even begin. “Just be yourself!” “That’s the problem”. Fin.
When it comes to our insecurities, it’s not uncommon for people to hide what they deem undesirable about themselves from their partners as protection from getting hurt.
Part one of our Valentine’s blog series looks at how to be more comfortable in your own skin and love yourself before heading into a new relationship. This means boosting your self-esteem and learning to trust your own judgement rather than relying on others. Here are a few suggestions on how to do just that.
- Tell that critical inner voice to shut up. As that cheesy meme says; don’t compare your chapter one to someone else’s chapter twelve. Whether it’s going to the gym, increasing your assertiveness or learning to cook better, any step you make is a step further than yesterday.
- Exercise more. Be it a gentle stroll in the park, half an hour of yoga or a full on sprint, you will feel amazing afterwards! It stimulates your mind and repairs your body, and it also releases “happy hormones” such as endorphins.
- Make a list. To-do lists are a great way to stay on track with your day and make sure you don’t forget anything. Plus, you get a certain kind of rush of pride when you’ve completed a task and you get to cross it off your list. At the end of the day, make a list of all the good things you accomplished. These can be anything, like making someone laugh, getting your assignment finished early or listening to a friend’s problem.
- Work hard, play hard. Be sure to treat yourself when you’ve earned it. You’ve studied well all evening? Go binge watch Stranger Things. You’ve had a busy week at work? Go have a chocolate biscuit (or three). Got everything on your to-do list completed? Send yourself a Valentine’s Day card telling yourself how wonderful you are! Life is too short to not reward yourself when you’ve done good.
- Talk to people who make you happy. If you spend all of your time around those who ridicule you and put you down, it’s very easy to start feeling bad about yourself. Spend time with the people who will boost your self-esteem and get you feeling great about yourself.
Here at MyMind we have a fantastic team of mental health professionals who speak over 15 different languages and practice a wide range of therapies, so there is something to suit everyone! If you’re struggling with your self-esteem, please don’t hesitate to get in touch with us by phoning +353 76 680 1060.
By Sarah Walsh